Free Write, Bitches!

November 28, 2008

Freewrite beings now. I don’t know what’s going to fall out of my keyboard, but I’m going to keep writing until this page is completely full. I might not even use any paragraph breaks. No, maybe I will. Okay, onto the idea that’s tickling me. “Amature. Delletant. Some other word for dabbler.. Dabbler!” Mina thought. The man’s…no, Gerith’s, Gerith’s profanity was bland, expected. There was no creativity. If something wasn’t to his liking it was bullshit. That’s it, just bullshit. Not something neat or descriptive, like say, a pile of pus leaking….shit, stalling out. Pile of pus leaking puke. No, pile of pus leaking dildos. No, dildos don’t leak pus. Okay, what leaks pus and is set in piles. I’d love to say severed dog cocks, but somebody’s already used that. Okay, so if something’s not to his liking it’s bullshit, not something imaginative like….damn, I shouldn’t try to be clever like this during free write. Okay, so Mina’s looking down on this guy for having boring profanity and who is he. Her student? Her peer? Her boss? I’m going to go with peer. Maybe slightly subordinate to her. Okay, fuck it, I can’t pick out clever dialogue like this, I can’t do refined, polish this way. Doesn’t work. What does work? This is not working. I’ve yet to do anything interesting. I just sputter around. And now I’m just talking about how I suck because I’ve got nothing else to think about. Um, let’s break that. Right now I’m listening to Don’t Bother None by The Seatbelts. It’s from the soundtrack of Cowboy Bebop, and the song is good, but it was never really used in the show. Only the first few seconds were clipped up and used in Episode 1 (shit! I forgot the name of Episode 1 of Cowboy Bebop!) and maybe a little bit in Mushroom Samba, too. Before this I was listening to Don’t Give Up by some Gregorian chant band, which is sort of like the girlfriend affirmation for people who don’t have girlfriends—beautiful sounding woman telling you not to give up and that things will get better. I like the song, but I always sound pathetic listening to it. Now I’m listening to a song I don’t recognize. Very beat driven, with a kind of angsty groaning lead singer. Ah, it’s Dicipline by Nine Inch Nails. Shit, my spelling REALLY sucks, doesn’t it? If I post this to my blog, I think I’ll leave all the errors in, because that’s more authentic. Hm, I wonder how much further I have to go. Not much, if I guess correctly. I want to quit my job. I’ve got a job fair that I’m going to on Monday. I hope that I’m one of only a very few people who show up, and that I’m the only one who can string sentences together. That would be awesome. Because I can’t keep working where I currently do. I told my company that I couldn’t stand the site they have me at, and they said that they’d move me somewhere else. Today I got trained to take over at a different site, but the new site is just like the old site, but WORSE IN EVERY WAY. Really, top notch fuckery there, PPS. Indeed. I’m simply amazed this company hasn’t spawned a portal to hell or something. There’s certainly enough evil of the corporate bland variety flowing through it. The weird thing is that everybody who works there is nice…it’s just that the policies are all hideous. I blame the upper management. Charming people, but not quite human. I wonder if they read this blog. If they do, will they care? Hm….the things that we ponder in the 21st century are thrilling, are they not?! Oh damn, that’s not the end of the page. That would have been a killer ending line. A great ending line is a thing of beauty, but it’s a poisonous beauty, because it inspires you to try to say similar things in real life, but in real life the chapter doesn’t conveniently end right after you deliver your soul-rattling zinger; no you have to sit around and feel their scorn, listen to their comebacks, and in the end you never feel as smart as you did when you first decided to try and get in a Great Closing Line. Oh man, am I almost finished? I hope so, because I’m running out of bullshit and that rarely happens.


It’s a Fucking Miracle!!

September 29, 2008

Two weeks of 5 days working and 2 days off…twice in a ROW!! HOLY SHIT!


Not What It Was Cracked Up to Be

September 3, 2008

My job sucks. We are chronically understaffed, and yet I can’t count on being able to work 40 hours in 5 days. How is that possible? How am I supposed to afford rent and food if I might work 40 hours one week, but only 20 the next? I have to fill in shifts on my days off to make up the difference. I have no idea what our health care plan is like, since I don’t qualify for it for another 4 months, but I hope it’s good because my parent’s coverage runs out at the end of the month. I have at least 3 drugs I need to take every day to function. Where the hell am I supposed to come up with the money for them on my own? Where am I supposed to find a health insurance company that will cover me with my medical history being so bad? I’m looking for a new job, but there aren’t a lot of places hiring people with my level of experience and qualifications, and the ones who will don’t seem to be the kind of place that’s going to offer me a benefits package that includes prescription coverage.

I’m fucked. I was hoping to stay in Portland for at least 2 years before I tried going to Japan to teach English, but if things don’t improve, I might have to try sooner. Who knows if I’ll be able to afford living in my own country?



August 28, 2008

And I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was sure Obama was going to catch a bullet tonight, but he didn’t. I wish I could have been at home and watching it live, but thems the breaks.


About the War in Georgia

August 11, 2008

It seems as if both sides are being assholes. Georgia invades South Osseta to reclaim a province that successfully broke away in 92. They attempted to use force to deny the Ossetans self-determination and independence. In other words, a real dick move.

And now Russia has used the Georgian offensive as a pretext to launch a massive counter-offensive that was nominally about liberating the South Ossetans, but is now clearly an expansionist landgrab as offers of cease-fire are flatly rejected and the fighting moves into Georgia proper.

Grave-voiced warnings about WW3 have become a tired from overuse in the past 7 years, so let’s hope the fighting stops in Georgia. If Russia expands their war to a general conquest of the former Soviet Union, things will get very scary very fast, and I’d hate to have to resort to cliche.


Exciting Careers in Private Security

July 13, 2008

2300 Arrive on site, meet w/ Officer Richmond. Campers still watching film
0020 Campers board sub. Lights out at 0025.
0030 1st patrol with OMSI staff member, who helps me orient myself.
0050 Report of alarm at main OMSI campus. Gave keys to bike officer that responded.
0100 2nd patrol of ship. All clear.
0130 3rd patrol. Met supervisor at duty post, received keys again. All clear.
0200 4th patrol. Banged my head on aft pressure hatch. All clear.
0230 5th patrol of ship. All clear.
0300 6th patrol of ship. All clear. Supervisor called to see if he had left some papers here; he had not.
0330 7th patrol of ship. All clear.
0400 8th patrol of ship. All clear. Headache beginning to set in.
0450 9th patrol of ship. All clear.
0500 10th patrol of ship. All clear.
0530 11th patrol of ship. All clear.
0600 12th patrol of ship. All clear.
0630 13th patrol of ship. All clear
0700 Campers awake, DAR written, am preparing to leave.


In Honor of the Dearly Departed

July 8, 2008

Sen. Jesse Helmsfuneral is today.

To honor this great man’s passing, I offer you a touching serenade to his steadfast and tireless devotion to bigotry and oppression.

(grainy Jesse Helms sample)
“Unless and until the American people demand the restoration of both moral and spiritual priorities, I simply do not believe that we’re going to solve any other problems as well.”

Big fat fuck from North Carolina state,
he’s a worthless piece of shit, he’s a paragon of hate,
he’s a redneck, fuck-face, brain-dead waste of space,
two-bit, two-timing, motherfucking pool of slime.
Against gay rights, and funding for the arts,
tried to cancel PBS and tear Big Bird apart.
Cut AIDS funding, corporate welfare for the rich,
he’s a shameless money grubber, he’s a two dollar bitch.

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Fundamentalist, fuckwad, dickless prick,
he’s ugly as a morlock, dumb as a brick.
He’s a sack of shit, hypocrite, single-minded, fat bigot,
punk bitch, ignorant, ass-munch sycophant.
Life long friend of the deadly cancer sticks,
thinks AIDS is the fault of the people it afflicts.
Racist fuck who supports segregation,
foe of the people friend of the corporation.

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Get up, get up!

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Hurry up and die!

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Yo Jesse, you dumb-ass, racist, cracker motherfucker!
Why the fuck won’t you just hurry up and die?
And take that punk-bitch Strom Thurmond with you!

“Why Won’t Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?” by MC Hawking