Archive for the ‘politics’ Category

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Shorter Gov. Jindal:

February 24, 2009

“We need Democrats and Republicans to come together, consider all the options, and then work in a bi-partisan fashion to do whatever the GOP wants.”

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Whew!

August 28, 2008

And I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was sure Obama was going to catch a bullet tonight, but he didn’t. I wish I could have been at home and watching it live, but thems the breaks.

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About the War in Georgia

August 11, 2008

It seems as if both sides are being assholes. Georgia invades South Osseta to reclaim a province that successfully broke away in 92. They attempted to use force to deny the Ossetans self-determination and independence. In other words, a real dick move.

And now Russia has used the Georgian offensive as a pretext to launch a massive counter-offensive that was nominally about liberating the South Ossetans, but is now clearly an expansionist landgrab as offers of cease-fire are flatly rejected and the fighting moves into Georgia proper.

Grave-voiced warnings about WW3 have become a tired from overuse in the past 7 years, so let’s hope the fighting stops in Georgia. If Russia expands their war to a general conquest of the former Soviet Union, things will get very scary very fast, and I’d hate to have to resort to cliche.

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In Honor of the Dearly Departed

July 8, 2008

Sen. Jesse Helmsfuneral is today.

To honor this great man’s passing, I offer you a touching serenade to his steadfast and tireless devotion to bigotry and oppression.

(grainy Jesse Helms sample)
“Unless and until the American people demand the restoration of both moral and spiritual priorities, I simply do not believe that we’re going to solve any other problems as well.”

Big fat fuck from North Carolina state,
he’s a worthless piece of shit, he’s a paragon of hate,
he’s a redneck, fuck-face, brain-dead waste of space,
two-bit, two-timing, motherfucking pool of slime.
Against gay rights, and funding for the arts,
tried to cancel PBS and tear Big Bird apart.
Cut AIDS funding, corporate welfare for the rich,
he’s a shameless money grubber, he’s a two dollar bitch.

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Fundamentalist, fuckwad, dickless prick,
he’s ugly as a morlock, dumb as a brick.
He’s a sack of shit, hypocrite, single-minded, fat bigot,
punk bitch, ignorant, ass-munch sycophant.
Life long friend of the deadly cancer sticks,
thinks AIDS is the fault of the people it afflicts.
Racist fuck who supports segregation,
foe of the people friend of the corporation.

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Uh!
Damn.
Get up, get up!

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Hurry up and die!

Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Yo Jesse, you dumb-ass, racist, cracker motherfucker!
Why the fuck won’t you just hurry up and die?
And take that punk-bitch Strom Thurmond with you!

“Why Won’t Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?” by MC Hawking

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Pronking Sweet!

June 1, 2008

Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase

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Smells Like Liberty

April 7, 2008

I sure do love living in the Land of the Free. It’s so great when people of differing views can come together in respectful dialog:

Rep. Monique Davis (D-Chicago) interrupted atheist activist Rob Sherman during his testimony Wednesday afternoon before the House State Government Administration Committee in Springfield and told him, “What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous . . . it’s dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists!

“This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God,” Davis said. “Get out of that seat . . . You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon.”

THIS is why atheists care about religion polluting government.

EDIT: Audio can be found here. I just LOVE that smarmy, condescending tone.

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Charlton Heston is Dead

April 5, 2008

Charlton Heston is dead at age 84. This raises one immediate question in my mind: can we take his guns yet?