Archive for November, 2008


Free Write, Bitches!

November 28, 2008

Freewrite beings now. I don’t know what’s going to fall out of my keyboard, but I’m going to keep writing until this page is completely full. I might not even use any paragraph breaks. No, maybe I will. Okay, onto the idea that’s tickling me. “Amature. Delletant. Some other word for dabbler.. Dabbler!” Mina thought. The man’s…no, Gerith’s, Gerith’s profanity was bland, expected. There was no creativity. If something wasn’t to his liking it was bullshit. That’s it, just bullshit. Not something neat or descriptive, like say, a pile of pus leaking….shit, stalling out. Pile of pus leaking puke. No, pile of pus leaking dildos. No, dildos don’t leak pus. Okay, what leaks pus and is set in piles. I’d love to say severed dog cocks, but somebody’s already used that. Okay, so if something’s not to his liking it’s bullshit, not something imaginative like….damn, I shouldn’t try to be clever like this during free write. Okay, so Mina’s looking down on this guy for having boring profanity and who is he. Her student? Her peer? Her boss? I’m going to go with peer. Maybe slightly subordinate to her. Okay, fuck it, I can’t pick out clever dialogue like this, I can’t do refined, polish this way. Doesn’t work. What does work? This is not working. I’ve yet to do anything interesting. I just sputter around. And now I’m just talking about how I suck because I’ve got nothing else to think about. Um, let’s break that. Right now I’m listening to Don’t Bother None by The Seatbelts. It’s from the soundtrack of Cowboy Bebop, and the song is good, but it was never really used in the show. Only the first few seconds were clipped up and used in Episode 1 (shit! I forgot the name of Episode 1 of Cowboy Bebop!) and maybe a little bit in Mushroom Samba, too. Before this I was listening to Don’t Give Up by some Gregorian chant band, which is sort of like the girlfriend affirmation for people who don’t have girlfriends—beautiful sounding woman telling you not to give up and that things will get better. I like the song, but I always sound pathetic listening to it. Now I’m listening to a song I don’t recognize. Very beat driven, with a kind of angsty groaning lead singer. Ah, it’s Dicipline by Nine Inch Nails. Shit, my spelling REALLY sucks, doesn’t it? If I post this to my blog, I think I’ll leave all the errors in, because that’s more authentic. Hm, I wonder how much further I have to go. Not much, if I guess correctly. I want to quit my job. I’ve got a job fair that I’m going to on Monday. I hope that I’m one of only a very few people who show up, and that I’m the only one who can string sentences together. That would be awesome. Because I can’t keep working where I currently do. I told my company that I couldn’t stand the site they have me at, and they said that they’d move me somewhere else. Today I got trained to take over at a different site, but the new site is just like the old site, but WORSE IN EVERY WAY. Really, top notch fuckery there, PPS. Indeed. I’m simply amazed this company hasn’t spawned a portal to hell or something. There’s certainly enough evil of the corporate bland variety flowing through it. The weird thing is that everybody who works there is nice…it’s just that the policies are all hideous. I blame the upper management. Charming people, but not quite human. I wonder if they read this blog. If they do, will they care? Hm….the things that we ponder in the 21st century are thrilling, are they not?! Oh damn, that’s not the end of the page. That would have been a killer ending line. A great ending line is a thing of beauty, but it’s a poisonous beauty, because it inspires you to try to say similar things in real life, but in real life the chapter doesn’t conveniently end right after you deliver your soul-rattling zinger; no you have to sit around and feel their scorn, listen to their comebacks, and in the end you never feel as smart as you did when you first decided to try and get in a Great Closing Line. Oh man, am I almost finished? I hope so, because I’m running out of bullshit and that rarely happens.