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And Thus Ends Another Glorious Week!

November 5, 2007

I just finished my night shift at the coffee house, during which I did most of two people’s work because my coworker was talking to her friend. I’m perfectly okay with that. I really don’t mind. In fact, that extra wiping down of the counter, that tricky social calculus of trying to decide if I should complete a task or leave it for her, those were the most intellectually stimulating things I’ve done all day.

If I am struggling to fight off a bout of depression, it is only because my life is currently very depressing. I am stuck here and forced to participate in an endless series of empty academic exercises that do not improve me, do not improve my peers, do not improve my teacher, do not improve anything. I am forced to digest new information, but very few new or interesting ideas. All of this is only important because at the end of the quarter I’ll be given a letter that marks how well I can regurgitate on command, and this letter is only significant to my life after college because everybody has decided that it should be.

I swear to God, I would be happier if all I did was work in that fucking coffee house. At least then I’d be learning a trade. At least then I wouldn’t have to pretend that I was on some quest for enlightenment, or even more absurd, that I actually have a chance of finding it around here.

If I didn’t know how completely incompetent and lacking in any kind of ability for self analysis most of the education industry is, I’d suspect that they deliberately constructed the situation to be like this in order to break my spirit and turn me into a good corporate feed-drone. Of course it doesn’t matter if they intend to do it or not, that’s the likely outcome for many of my classmates regardless of our instructors’ intentions. The only reason I think I’ll have a chance of escaping that fate is my own internal drive and ambition towards a very specific goal. A lot of kids here don’t have that because we haven’t seen enough of the world to know what we want to do. And given the way things are going around here, it’s likely that a lot of us never will.

This is the time where one of those fucking hippies would say “Yeah man, the whole system is corrupt. Just drop out of the whole corpo-political-military-industrial-media complex and expand your mind.” God I hate those people. No, pot will not solve my problems, it will just make me stop caring I have them.

And neither will those goddamned “Quit bitching and start a revolution” t-shirts. I’ve seen about five of them around campus, and the next person I see wearing one is getting my boot in their teeth unless she’s really cute. Then I’ll just hate her quietly.

I hate everyone and everything. Not always, just at certain predetermined times of the week, like Sunday night when I’m staring at yet another pointless week, wondering what happened to the last pointless week, which seemed to have started only two days ago.

Going to Japan will not solve all my problems either. There are no silver bullets. But at least over there I’ll be learning a language, something that I know will be satisfying because it has never failed to be fun before. Well except for Spanish, but I don’t talk about that class. Also, while I live in Japan I won’t be going to school, so all of the things that are pissing me off right now won’t be bothering me. It’ll be just work, get paid, do what I want with my spare time.

Which brings me back to homework, the world’s most efficient waster of youth. I signed up for a class called Overview of the Universe thinking that I would get an overview of the universe. My homework has me determining how hot a distant sun is by examining its blackbody radiation output. Excuse me? That does not sound like an overview, that sounds like fucking minutiae, and I did not enroll in a class called Minutiae of the Universe.

And the TA for this class is amazing. I don’t mean that as a compliment. I mean that he continually amazes me in his absolutely horrible behavior. It turns out he is rather famous on campus, and that is because he is an asshole. There are a lot of ways to get famous, that isn’t one of the good ones. He sends us dozens of emails a week. Just today, between the hours of 6 and midnight, he sent us five emails. On a Sunday night, he thinks that we have nothing better to do than check our email hourly for his helpful updates. Tomorrow I predict that he will act indignant and condescending when somebody says that they did not see his emails, because its not like we have lives to be living or anything.

Somebody please find a way that I can simply buy a diploma. I don’t want to do this anymore.

Only 24 instructional weeks left until graduation.

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2 comments

  1. NOTE: The following comment has been edited by the management for clarity.

    I’m a big annoying dorkwad who can’t let anyone else blow off a little steam without coming down on them with my annoying busybody opinions that nobody wants to hear. I’m going to go suck my own cock now because I’m just that awesome.


  2. Eh? I didn’t mean to offend. Sorry.



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