And I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was sure Obama was going to catch a bullet tonight, but he didn’t. I wish I could have been at home and watching it live, but thems the breaks.
About the War in Georgia
August 11, 2008It seems as if both sides are being assholes. Georgia invades South Osseta to reclaim a province that successfully broke away in 92. They attempted to use force to deny the Ossetans self-determination and independence. In other words, a real dick move.
And now Russia has used the Georgian offensive as a pretext to launch a massive counter-offensive that was nominally about liberating the South Ossetans, but is now clearly an expansionist landgrab as offers of cease-fire are flatly rejected and the fighting moves into Georgia proper.
Grave-voiced warnings about WW3 have become a tired from overuse in the past 7 years, so let’s hope the fighting stops in Georgia. If Russia expands their war to a general conquest of the former Soviet Union, things will get very scary very fast, and I’d hate to have to resort to cliche.
Exciting Careers in Private Security
July 13, 20082300 Arrive on site, meet w/ Officer Richmond. Campers still watching film
0020 Campers board sub. Lights out at 0025.
0030 1st patrol with OMSI staff member, who helps me orient myself.
0050 Report of alarm at main OMSI campus. Gave keys to bike officer that responded.
0100 2nd patrol of ship. All clear.
0130 3rd patrol. Met supervisor at duty post, received keys again. All clear.
0200 4th patrol. Banged my head on aft pressure hatch. All clear.
0230 5th patrol of ship. All clear.
0300 6th patrol of ship. All clear. Supervisor called to see if he had left some papers here; he had not.
0330 7th patrol of ship. All clear.
0400 8th patrol of ship. All clear. Headache beginning to set in.
0450 9th patrol of ship. All clear.
0500 10th patrol of ship. All clear.
0530 11th patrol of ship. All clear.
0600 12th patrol of ship. All clear.
0630 13th patrol of ship. All clear
0700 Campers awake, DAR written, am preparing to leave.
In Honor of the Dearly Departed
July 8, 2008Sen. Jesse Helms‘ funeral is today.
To honor this great man’s passing, I offer you a touching serenade to his steadfast and tireless devotion to bigotry and oppression.
(grainy Jesse Helms sample)
“Unless and until the American people demand the restoration of both moral and spiritual priorities, I simply do not believe that we’re going to solve any other problems as well.”
Big fat fuck from North Carolina state,
he’s a worthless piece of shit, he’s a paragon of hate,
he’s a redneck, fuck-face, brain-dead waste of space,
two-bit, two-timing, motherfucking pool of slime.
Against gay rights, and funding for the arts,
tried to cancel PBS and tear Big Bird apart.
Cut AIDS funding, corporate welfare for the rich,
he’s a shameless money grubber, he’s a two dollar bitch.
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Fundamentalist, fuckwad, dickless prick,
he’s ugly as a morlock, dumb as a brick.
He’s a sack of shit, hypocrite, single-minded, fat bigot,
punk bitch, ignorant, ass-munch sycophant.
Life long friend of the deadly cancer sticks,
thinks AIDS is the fault of the people it afflicts.
Racist fuck who supports segregation,
foe of the people friend of the corporation.
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Uh!
Damn.
Get up, get up!
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Hurry up and die!
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won’t Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Yo Jesse, you dumb-ass, racist, cracker motherfucker!
Why the fuck won’t you just hurry up and die?
And take that punk-bitch Strom Thurmond with you!
“Why Won’t Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?” by MC Hawking
Job Huntin’ Sucks
July 7, 2008The job hunt has not been going well. A few days ago, I got turned down by a fucking temp agency. I’ve applied to 3 others, but I haven’t heard back from any of them. So you can imagine that when I got an interview with an environmental advocacy nonprofit agency called Environment Oregon, I was excited. I’d only gotten one interview prior to this, for a part time position at Barnes & Noble, and they turned me down. I went in to Environment Oregon’s Portland office today and I nailed the interview. They said it would take them 3 days to a week to get back to me about if they wanted to hire me. It only took 5 hours. The office director said it was the fastest turn around from the home office he’d ever seen. They offered me the job. Sweet.
But it’s 80 hours a week. I wouldn’t even have time to do laundry during the week. I’d probably be giving up all my Saturdays. I’d certainly be working 16 hour days very frequently. I have until Friday to make my decision.
The first thing I did when I got home from the interview, before I knew they were going to offer me the job, was to go on Craigslist and look for more jobs. I found one that looks interesting, sent a quiery with my resume attached, and they asked me to come in and speak to them and fill out an application tomorrow. I think if they offer me a job, I’ll take it.
I believe in environmental causes, I really do. And if Environment Oregon wanted me to work a 40 hour week, I’d jump at the chance. But 80? That’s not a job, that’s a religious commitment.
I hate job hunting.
Milestone, of sorts
June 22, 2008So tonight I’m spending my first night in my first room in Portland, the first city I’ll live in after college. One of the owner’s dogs is here with me. His name is Amos, and he’s smaller than his brother Andy, who is kind of a jerk and pushes Amos around. I’m sleeping on an air mattress because I don’t have a real bed yet. Nor do I have a dresser, a book stand, or a job. Everything I own is spread out in the room around me, with the exception of my Xbox, which is already downstairs, waiting to be hooked to the TV. I want to buy a new laptop with the money my grandparents gave me for graduation, but I can’t do that until I see how much furnishing my room and getting a bike will cost me. Every time I go out for something, I get lost. I don’t understand the buses, and I don’t know where the trains go. This will fade in time. I already found a good place to grocery shop. Tomorrow, I will get a membership card for Hollywood Video. I will begin the job hunt, but who knows how well that can go on a Sunday? I will catch up on Battlestar Galactica. I hope to meet new friends soon. The antidepressants can only hold that back so long. I hope to find a girl, but then I thought I’d find one of those in Santa Cruz.
Cow-Free Bullshit
June 18, 2008So I’m looking for a room in Portland, and one thing I keep running across is the frustrating tendency of some vegans or vegetarians to think that it is acceptable to screen their roomies by dietary habits. At least three promising listings have been ruined by this practice, and I’m starting to get pissed off. I suppose the silver lining is that this serves as a forewarning to avoid any nattering busybody assholes before I’m stuck living with them for at least a month. How is it any of their fucking business what I eat? Is this a common practice among vegetarians? If so, why? How is this even remotely appropriate? Oh yeah, I can smoke all the pot I want, but God forbid that I eat an animal that was dead before I ever met it!
Seriously, what the fuck?
I’m Goin’ To Hell!
June 1, 2008The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | High |
| Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante’s Divine Comedy Inferno Test
